4.01.2014

BULLY USED TO BE A TERM OF ENDEARMENT SO HOW DID WE GET HERE




“Affected by a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are ‘weaker’. “
At times and in certain situations, I might consider myself weak but I don’t think everyone who has been bullied necessarily considers him/herself weak(er). At least not before the bullying happened.
Bullying has always existed and every time I hear “breaking news” about “this new phenomenon”, it makes me upset.
Teachers and parents need to stop ignoring this subject.
Most people react when they see that someone gets hurt or dies because of bullying but somehow, a few hours later, unless they’re related to the victim, they forget about it and the bullying continues and no one does anything about it.
We don’t do anything about it.
As a victim of bullying, I didn’t do anything about it either. Not really. For example, I was too ashamed to let my parents know that kids called me “anus” in middle school.
I told my teachers that my classmates bothered me. The teachers would ask my bullies to tell me they were sorry and I had to accept their fake apology.  It was obvious they never meant it and no one really explained to them what they were doing wrong. It’s true: sometimes people don’t get why some people react the way they do and sometimes they don’t understand that others are more sensitive.
Most likely, other girls have been called “anus”. I know I’m not special. Some girls can punch their bully or pull their hair or try to insult them calling him/her a reproductive organ (because what’s more insulting than genitals, right?). 
Anyway, asking a bully to apologize wont make the bully understand the problem and definitely wont make things better for the bullied child.
All of this seems so obvious but somehow changes haven’t been made.
People still make documentaries and movies about bullying. People win awards for making these movies. People are “touched” momentarily.
After volunteering in a pre-school for only a year, I noticed that these aggressive behaviors can start very early. Teachers will label kids as “lazy” or “stupid” and ignore and yell at them all the time. I believe good teachers can prevent bullying by paying attention and providing a space where, name-calling, for example, is prohibited.
Of course, we can’t just blame the teachers. Parents need to help too and unfortunately many parents are bad examples. I’ve heard parents and grandparents say awful things to kids. For example, one time, a grandma picked his two grandsons up and the youngest wanted to carry a Minnie Mouse lunchbox that belonged to his (female) cousin. The grandma immediately took the lunchbox from him and asked him if he was “a girl” and it was supposed to be an insult. The kid was too young to even know the difference between a boy and a girl and his older brother laughed at him. It’s difficult to change the way people think and react but change is needed.
This grandmother was unnecessarily aggressive and ignorant about the situation. She was old and was probably raised that way but that’s not really an excuse.  People need to be educated. These topics need and should be addressed in parent-teacher conferences, for example.
I’m also aware that parents can be aggressive towards their kids’ instructors but there’s always smarter ways of presenting issues to people without sounding like you’re trying to educate them. Some of them will be insulted no matter what but most people will probably be reasonable and even though the change wont be immediate or accomplished 100%, small changes help. Anything/everything helps. 
People get hurt physically and mentally. People think bullying is normal and okay and innocent and child’s play.
If I’m realistic, I know that there will always be people who make fun of others for various reasons or “just because” but I believe that bullying should be punished.

I just wanted to write a short paragraph to talk to you about a new project but look what happened.

If you were ever bullied or if you ever feel bullied (because I believe there’s no age limit and people can and are cruel all the time) I want you to share your bullying experience.  I’ll make a PDF with everything. You can send texts and images. Depending on how people respond to this, I’ll see what we can do later with this but for now it’s just meant to be a collection of pain and relief to help people who are going through a hard time or for those of us who suffered and are still recovering. You know that relating to people makes you less lonely. Let’s help each other. Let’s help others. We can be less lonely, less sad.
Sorry I got carried away.

The tentative title for this project is: UNNATURAL SELECTION
Because:
While thinking about bullying, I thought of the word “survival” and then I looked it up on the dictionary (like I often do when I like a word and want to read it’s definition because it’s comforting sometimes) and found “survival of the fittest” under “phrases” and thought that we exist because we adapt to everything (bullies included) but the bullied are selected “unnaturally”, randomly because whoever choses you to get bullied choses you because you’re not like him/her. Also, I looked up “unnatural” and it says “lacking feelings of kindness and sympathy that are considered to be natural”. So it seems fitting.

You can start sending submissions after APRIL 10th, 2014. 
Submissions will close JUNE 10th, 2014 but are subject to change/ all depends on the response.
I’m busy and am taking an important exam on MAY 1st and 2nd so I wont be able to answer questions before that.
**IF I DO (WHICH IS UNLIKELY) I’LL BE BRIEF SO DON’T CONFUSE BRIEF WITH RUDE**
Please send your work to newwavevomit at gmail dot com
PLEASE, PLEASE make “UNNATURAL SELECTION” your subject because otherwise I’ll assume it’s a regular submission to NEW WAVE VOMIT.
THANK YOU.
HOPE YOU’RE WELL AND NOT BEING BULLIED BUT IF YOU ARE, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.

p.s. if you've sent a submission in the past and you think it works for this project, please forward it with this subject. thank you.